Before anyone accuses us of complaining just to complain, we want to assure you that this post is meant to be informative, rather than a bitch fest in search of pity.
With that in mind, have a listen to this song, and laugh along! We will return to our regularly scheduled programming after this bitchy post about the RV lifestyle.
TOP 5 BITCH-WORTHY RV LIFESTYLE ISSUES BY SONG
We assumed living in a mobile home would come with its challenges on the bug front. Little did we know that we’d experience bugs in ways that would be more annoying then this song off Pearl Jam’s Vitalogy album!
Case in point: As of this morning, we are nearly two full months into a stink bug infestation that we can’t track down. We capture 1-2 of these little bastards EVERY DAY, and throw them outside!
Only to repeat the process over and over, across four states, in six different campgrounds….so far.
We’ve also had problems with ants, finding a dead mouse in our kitchen cabinet, spider webs everywhere, flying insects of nearly every kind imaginable, and in one instance we had 100’s of small bees all over our truck for at least a week. Apparently we got that 🔥 pollen!
However you prefer to spell it, Bougie or Boujee, when you bring your Boujee City Slicker Bulldog into the country you best be prepared to deal with the consequences.
In what amounts to a continuation of complaint #1, thus far we’ve had three emergency vet visits this year for Lincoln – all due to various bugs.
In Georgia, he “mountained too hard” and caught a case of giardia, a parasite found in stagnant water. That lead to an emergency vet visit on a Saturday morning at 8 am.
In upstate NY, he got stung by who knows what, which lead to a really long, late, and expensive trip to Syracuse around 9 pm. Did we mention the emergency vet was over an hour away from the rural area our campground was in?!
In Wisconsin, he got stung by a ground hornet while hanging outside with the Albertson family. Friday night happy hour was shattered shortly thereafter, when he started freaking out and scratching himself all over the RV and we noticed his face, tongue, and paws had swollen up!
3. Bathtub Shitter – What Color Is Yours
We’ve co-opted the saying, “shit happens”, to reflect the RV life and now we say, “shit water happens”. When you manage your own sewage waste every few days, there’s bound to be a shituation or two, at some point.
Just like this song by Bathtub Shitter, all it takes is a few seconds of witnessing your own poop water, gushing out of the pipe immediately upon removing the cap to said pipe, for you to know What Color Yours is.
Fellow Full-time RVers GetAway_Couple lay out some quality butt paper options for those in the know. You learn the hard way that your choice of toilet paper makes a difference in this life.
4. Alabama Shakes – Don’t Wanna Fight
Going from 1300 sq ft to less than 400 sq ft of living space is bound to create a heightened sense of spacial awareness.
We previously discussed the challenges of living in such tight quarters and that challenge remains.
“Can you do it? Hey! Can you do it? Hey!” Might as well be the anthem for everyone who attempts to wedge a 30+ foot long RV in a parking spot.
Only difference is the “Hey” is usually followed by, “watch out for the tree” or “what the f@(¥ are you screaming at me for!”
One thing you can be certain of in this lifestyle is that you will participate in and watch someone else get into an argument over trying to park an RV.
Death, taxes, and fights over getting the RV a foot closer to one side. So much so, that this is an actual pastime among our fellow nomad’s.
We leave you with this song by another RV family that hits all the nails on the head about full-time RV’ing. Go ahead, laugh at our plite because we deserve it.
E and J RV 